Sunday, May 14, 2006

Lean not on your own understanding

Without a doubt, one of the biggest faith challenges I have is giving up control and trusting in God, especially when it comes to money troubles or relationships (or a lack thereof...tho' I'm trying to convince myself that I'm too old to be worrying about boys...or I should refer to them as men now?).

Lately it's been a shortage of funds, and the only thing I've been doing for the last few days is to try my best to trust in His will and pray for the ability to trust more completely....because otherwise I'd get myself so worked up and stressed it would do me more harm than good.

And today, of course, everything has worked out and revealed itself to be prefectly fine. I feel gloriously free and I'm oh-so-grateful. But I have this sense that it's almost like God's up there laughing good-naturedly at me, saying "I told you so, didn't I? Come on Anne, when are you gonna learn to really give it up to me?" :)

Ok, ok, I get it, and I think the trust thing is slowly but surely working its way through my thick skull. Now if we could only get this guy-thing straightened out...... :)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Memories are made of....what exactly?

Well, I hardly intended it to be close to a year between posts, but frankly, I had practically forgotten I had this blog. Oh, it was there in the back my my mind somewhere, hidden away in some corner gathering dust, but by and large abandoned. So much so that I had to send myself a reminder email to recall my password!

What's funny, though, was reading the several posts I had left here and recalling how I felt writing them. I think I captured the cyclonic giddiness of my trip to Hawaii pretty well, looking back on it now. It was such a joyful trip, and I found myself laughing as I read my "Listing" post....I really could have left so many things out of my suitcases!

What prompted my return to blogdom? I was on my friend Joy's site, checking out pics of her son, and she had posted some pictures of her younger brother going to prom. He goes to the same high school we went to, and his prom is someplace glamerous, like Disney. When we were in school we had to stay in the county; no mean feat to find a decent venue in Polk County, Florida, I might add. So I posted a reply to her comment, trying to remember where our senior prom was....I probably have the ticket someplace, but honestly, it's only been 10 years. It's too early to be losing my memory, right?

Anyway, so much has changed in in the nine months since I posted last. I've moved and have a new job. I'm still writing, only full-time now for a daily newspaper, and consider myself so blessed to be doing something I love everyday. Sure, it's not the highest-paying gig, but I would rather love my work and be underpaid than be over-paid and miserable any day.

One of the reasons I started this blog (having looked back at my old posts) was to keep writing creatively, or at least somewhat artistically, on a regular basis. Well obviously I haven't kept up with that lately. But the intent is still there. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever write those books and essays that are occupying space in my brain (filed in a less cluttered corner than my blogger password), especially since I spend a large portion of my day at work writing? I hope that I will. In fact, just last night, actually, I sat here in my office at home and made some progress on a fairy tale I'd begun two weekends ago, a story inspired by my goddaughter, Nora, who when I visited her recently in Tallahassee, prefered to be awake than asleep.

Speaking of fairy tales, I wish I could remember the ones I used to make up for these two little girls I babysat for in high school (who are now both taller than me. One is even in college!). I would make them up as I went along while I was putting the girls to bed. The stories were probably rambling things that meandered through other tales I'd read, but I remember them being pretty good, even if they were made up on the spot. :)